All I Can Do Is Write About It - By Eddie K..(Mr. Hooty)

This is a new feature as of Sept. 11th, 2004.  "All I can do is write about it", is a monthly column/commentary by our own Eddie Kamont (Mr. Hooty).  Eddie has quite the way with a story.  He was always sharing great stories and commentaries via the Message board and I decided his wonderful commentaries should be shared with all, so here is his first submission.  We have set up a special forum on the Message Board just for his column.  You can reply, make suggestions, and let Eddie know your feelings on the column there..... Enjoy!.................Bruce Wall

Terrorist attack (chapter one)

Special Edition by Jody Willman

That’s right, I said terrorist, because that’s what it is, an attack on what’s mine, by an uninvited guest. To fully understand this I’ll have to go back 5 years to the day that I found my little piece of heaven on earth. 15 acres of prime grass and a 4 bedroom 2 bath home, an 8-stall horse stable that has housed some champion quarter horses in its time. Although what hooked me, was the 7 acre lake that is included in the 15 acres. And speaking of hooked, the bass and white perch in my lake are awesome, some 5 to 10 pound bass prowl it, but they are getting too smart for catching. Here’s an example.

At the north end of the lake there is a log that hangs out in to the water, the other day I saw a fox squirrel out on the end of the log eating an acorn and suddenly, what had to be a 10-pound bass jumped out of the water and ate that little squirrel!!! See that’s smart huh? Not really because as I sat staring in amazement at what I’d seen, I saw an 8 –pound bass come up and put another acorn on that log! MAN! Those fish are smart! Anyway back to the invasion of my land. 2 years ago!! Yep that’s what I said 2 YEARS ago, I found a tree that had been chewed on something fierce by what had to be one mean son of a gun to do that to that sweet gum! (I said son of a gun back then, but words do change with time!) Now I’ve been in the woods all my life, and it took all of one second for me to realize just what it was. A BEAVER!!! One lone old beaver had decided to invade my private heaven. Well I decided right then and there that this old bucked tooth critter was NOT going to take my lake from me! So I found his little ole house at the end of the middle levee and paddled right over there and hollered into it that he couldn’t whip me no way! One on One I’d kick his butt! (I said butt back then) I promptly paddled over to my spillway to see if he’d started his dam yet. Yep just like I figured he’d started to dam up my lake, cause that’s what beavers do to make the lake bigger! Like 7 acres ain’t big enough for one old nocturnal engineer! O.K. I thought one on one would be fair, but he had that big flat tail to help him, so I got my short handled shovel out of the stable and in 5 minutes I’d busted his little puny dam and let the water flow like it should. I yelled over to his house, TAKE THAT Mr. BEAVER! Well it rained that night pretty hard and I noticed the next morning that the lake was a little high. So I got on my tractor and rode down my levee to the spillway and wouldn’t you know it, that dang beaver (I said dang back then) had repaired everything I’d busted the day before and the dam was twice the size!! It was ON then. (Stay tuned for chapter two)

                                               Terrorist attack (chapter two)

            Terrorist fortress!                              Terrorist act #1        

        My weapon of choice

               (At first)                      Terrorist act #2

O.K. now where was I? Oh yeah, 2 hours later, that’s right 2 HOURS later, I had this little boogers (I said booger back then) dam broke again. What happened next you ask? Well he LEFT! That’s right he LEFT! Just packed up his bags and split. VICTORY!!! How sweet it is! However the taste was short-lived. In 3 months he was back, not only was he back, but he brought reinforcements!!!

Yep, now there were at least 2 of the varmints attacking my beloved lake. Now ya see that just ain’t fair!! They were ganging up on me! This called for drastic measures! So I went and bought me a brand new $350 box blade for my tractor, and although his dam was 3 times the size it was at first in 10 minutes or so I could back my 584 international onto that levee and just wipe it out, like a stealth bomber! NOW YOU S.O.Bs (I say s.o.bs now) See what you can do to stop me from kicking your butts now. Well, in one weekend those evil little nocturnal #@$%*&s moved the dam out so far that the next time I tried to back my tractor onto the levee I ended up stuck and it took me 6 hours to wench the bomber out!!!! UH OH! This mess is getting serious. (I said mess back then) What now? When I’m out in the boat by my self early in the morning at daylight, the little rodents come up; swim around some, slap there tail on the water and just taunt me! My wife is a traitor! She thinks they are cute!! To tell the truth I like em too, gotta admire their spirit. You can tell they are southern beavers! However, my neighbors are a little tired of losing some of their pasture to my lake. So something must be done. Something sad, but you know what they say… “WAR IS HELL! (Ya’ll come back for the third and final chapter)

                                    Beaver wars the final chapter 

Well ya’ll I know you’ve been wondering what became of the beavers in my lake. I would have finished it sooner but the fact is it wasn’t over so how could I? Well it’s over now so to speak. As I’ve said I tried everything I could to just make them rodents leave my lake the size it is. I mean dang; 7 acres should be plenty big you would think. But not for these guys. I will start by telling you that beavers are a strange bunch of critters, they hang out at night, like to just swim around and slap that big ole tail on top of the water when I’m out there trying to relax and maybe catch a fish or two early in the morning about daylight. I tried at first to talk some sense into those furry heads but would they listen NOOO! They think everything should go their way and to hell with the fella that owns the lake! I throw a rock at em to scare em and I swear they just grin at me like I’m the one that’s wrong and ignorant to the ways of nature. When I left ya the last time I showed ya a picture of me pointing my 22 at one of em to end his world! Well…. About the time I was gonna shoot him he raised a white flag! I mean not really but I did see a white flash, might have been a perch, but well just in case I didn’t shoot him. I figured if he was gonna surrender then I’d let him be. The next week or two I was busy so I didn’t get out to visit them at all, and when I did finally get to go out in the boat 3 of them swam right up to the boat and just sat there looking like they wanted me to talk to em, like maybe they missed me! So hell I sat there and just flat out told em, look fellas, you’ve got to leave my lake the size it is, any bigger and you’ll flood my friends next door.

They kind of huddled up and made some weird noises and then the biggest one, I call him Beavus, looked at me and I swear he winked! I left em then and went to the house and seriously told my family that me and the Beaver clan had reached an understanding. Of course they thought I was goofy but oh well, me and Beavus, Bocephus, and Bertha know! I made peace with them ole Beavers right then and there and you know? They quit building my dam too big and they greet me every time I go out in the lake like I’m an old friend, which I guess by now I am. Of course as with all peace there is a price, and mines still fairly cheap at least until young Bocephus gets of age.

The pictures below will explain what I mean.

The moral of the story is… No matter how much people (and beavers) disagree, if folks would get em a cold beer, set down and talk it over, peace will prevail!

Jody

Rock & Roll Heaven

Jimmie Van Zant Band Concert, April 16th at the Goodfellas Cafe in Pottsville Pa. It was a night me and Mrs. Hooty will never forget. Like Alan Jackson sings in Midnight in Montgomery. When the moon is right. Maybe it was the audience, or the smoke filled honky-tonk bar, but it was definitely in the stars for them on this night. Saturday when the JVZB played the Goodfellas Cafe, they were on top of the world. Everything just seemed to come together for them perfectly. It might sound crazy but I saw Allen Collins and Ronnie Van Zant on stage that night. Allen's spirit was seen in the form of Gary that night, one of three guitarist in the band. Gary proceeded to do a series of AC jumps throughout the show including a split foot and a crouched position jump that was absolutely awesome. Shades of Lynyrd Skynyrd back in the 70's all the way. Ronnie was spotted on stage in the form of his cousin Jimmie who because of strong family bloodlines has body structure and features that closely resemble RVZ. He struck some poses during the concert that you would swear you was looking at Ronnie front and back. Aunt Jane told us about this phenomenon and after witnessing it, it gives you a scary kind of feeling of maybe having seen a ghost, or an apparition and saying to yourself that I just seen Ronnie. Maybe it was his way of saying my cousin Jimmie is doing it right, but RVZ was DEFINITELY there. Early on Gary broke a guitar string and I thought oh God a disaster, and the crowd will get bummed out. This was not the case as Todd and Tom stepped up and gave Gary all the cover he needed to reload his six stringed weapon without the band missing a beat. The band had the audience spellbound and mesmerized, and the crowd was into the music so much that it was giving the band so much energy to feed off of. They had enough fuel to keep the fire going all night long. Zee the lovely wife of Jimmie was belting out vocals and background so good that any accomplished female superstar singer would have said welcome to the club because you definitely fit right in with the rest of us. Marks drum solo while the band gave him the stage and walked off reminded me of the days when people like Keith Moon and Ian Paice of Deep Purple would do solos while the band caught a little air. The bass player ( who I apologize to because I can't recall his name. Jimmie has 7 people in his band and I can't remember that many names ) well anyway the bass player and Tom patrolled their side of the stage the way Gary Rossington and Leon Wilkeson did Them two reminded me so much of Gary and Leon that I had to slap myself and say I was at Jimmies gig and not LS. Todd who is Gary's counterpart and stands with him as they blaze away on their guitars knows his every move and they both blend so well together like a fine tuned machine. Gosh where did they learn how to play guitars like that. They certainly couldn't teach that in any kind of music school. Then there was Jimmie belting out vocals all night long just like any other Van Zant would. He definitely knows how to work the crowd like the best of all stage performers and holds his audience spellbound from the moment they walk out on stage till the final note is played. After the show was over the announcer asked the crowd if they would like to see the Jimmie Van Zant Band play here again and the response was so loud it would have drowned out the sound of the space shuttle taking off on one of its journeys. I wished the band had a videoographer that night because that would have made one GREAT concert DVD. Maybe perhaps when 38 Special ccomes to play the Goodfellas Cafe in August the JVZB can team up with them and make a double live concert DVD Hint-Hint. Poor Hooty now suffers from a bad case of LSS, but it was all worth it because of the Jimmie Van Zant Band and one very magical night, Hooty was once again transported to Rock and Roll Heaven.

Texas invades the Northeast

No our friends and family, Hooty or his female counterpart are not going blind but that is simply the appropiate title of this months story. Anyway the reason for the title was because there was two shows in Atlantic City this weekend that we wanted to see. Brooks and Dunn on Friday and Peter Frampton on Saturday, but as we were driving to A.C. we did not have any one tickets for either show and Brooks and Dunn were sold out. When you go to Atlantic City my friends you got to gamble one way or the other. So we rolled the dice on us getting tickets. I have been calling Ticketmonster three days in a row but was still being told that there was no tickets for B & D. Friday morn the day of the show was no different, 9 10 11 and 12 0'clock they still had no tickets. 1 o'clock i called on my cell while we were on the road to A.C. but the lady said she couldn't hear me so Mrs. Hooty says let me try my cell phone. She got thru and tells the man on the phone with a Southwestern Bruce type of accent what show tickets she wanted. Unbelievably the man says lady you called at the right time cause I got 10 tickets for tonight's show. The man in the phone says let me get you the best tickets I got and proceeding to set us up with 20th row dead center seats. You really don't know the feeling of driving to a sold out concert without tickets and then getting tickets while on your way there but it is something like going from the very low bottom floor of the Grand Canyon floor to the summit of Mt. Everest in ten nanoseconds. Thank you God. The PF show we were not sweatin' because we knew there was seats available but Hooty had his sights set on a pair of Front rows from a ticket broker but he needed a computey and printer because they were ticketfast tickets that had to be printed out after they were emailed to you and you don't exactly travel around with these things in your car. Oh well whats one more stumbling block in the way of the Hooty's getting to a concert. The squirrel in the exercise wheel is really running superfast ( which by the way is how Mr. Hooty's brain is powered by and there are plenty of nuts up there to keep that squirrel fed until the next eon. I guess as that little rodent hit the right speed a light bulb lit up in my otherwise very dimly lit brain. Why not ask the desk clerk at the hotel if he has an email address that the ticket broker can send the tickets too. As we are still rolling 7's so to speak as far as gettin' the tickets, the desk clerk says he can do it for us, another roll of the dice another 7. So all we gotta hope for is that the ticket broker still has them front rows HE DOES thank you Mr. God again. We went to the Brooks and Dunn show and always during the encore they accept people in front of the stage so the fans could be up real close. Being we had to take a flight from the 20th row to the stage we were 4 foot from the stage when we got there with like two rows of people in front of us. I felt sorry for Mrs. H because she is a little height disadvantaged and I was very happy that I got Kixx to drop his guitar pic in my outstretched to the limit hat and would share that joy with Laurie later. When I looked over at her not really expecting to see that cute little thing amongst that sea of giant galactic creatures boy was I in for a shock and a sweet surprise She somehow managed to weasel her way to the stage resting her arms on it. Then she proudly held up her two treasures a drumstick she caught midair from Ronnie Dunn and a guitar pic from Kixx Brooks. Suddenly I felt very malnourished with my lonely treasure. But in reality if Mrs. Hooty had a good time then my goal was accomplished. Than it was all worth it. Peter Frampton does the same trick as Brooks and Dunn towards the end they let the fans come to the front of the stage, but before that happened Mrs. Hooty got the keyboard and guitarist player to throw her his pic which was the only one that he threw out. He replaced long time friend and band mate of PF who unfortunately died last year we sadly learned. We got our Frampton Comes Alive Cd booklet signed by Peter. A nice couple were waiting in the Meet and Greet line so we asked them if they could take it in and get it signed for us which they did. While Peter was playing his I need your money song Hooty went up to the stage directly in front of him and placed a dollar bill at his feet. What the heck I figured if he was singing about it maybe he could use a buck. He looked directly at me and we both shared a good laff and a smile of appreciation and then he picked up the dollar and put it on his amp. When we were at the foot of the stage during the end while they were playing Do You feel like We do I flashed my Guitar pic sign at him and when the time was right he walked directly over to me and placed his guitar pic in my hand. That was the only one he personally handed to anybody. . Would I recommend to my reading public Brooks and Dunn or Peter Frampton as a concert you would like to go see. I highly recommend both groups if ya ever git the chance. Till the next time I tap on the keys we wish you all Health and Happiness. Mr & Mrs H

February 2005

Pinch me I think i am still dreaming
We went to see the Marshal Tucker Band last night and I am so happy for
Mrs. Hooty. We seen them at my new favorite concert hall in Sayreville
N.J. We did the usual deal since its a TRUE general admission place
meaning first in line gets to stand or sit wherever they want. The doors
opened at 7:30 on this chilly and cold night but not as barbaric as it
was for the 38 Special Concert last week. Me and Mrs. were at the place
5 p.m. first in line, ( That's how I like it ) A short while later Mrs.
Hooty was cold so she went to the car, keys in hand to stay warm while
the snarling pit-bull protected his first spot in line. My ex-boss the
anti-Christ Joe got us the tickets for the show for free. You might hear
more about him and why he is called the anti-Christ in an upcoming
feature of A.I.C.D.I.W.A.I. but it has nothing to do with religion.
Whilst I was standing in line by myself the next person that walks up
says hey I know you. he goes on to how he knows me which just happens to
be he seen me at bucco Skynyrd concerts up front and close. His
girlfriend is doing a Mrs. Hooty number also by sittin' in the car and
keeping warm whilst the men braved the fierce elements of winter so that
the girls could have a premier front and center spot once the show
starts. About 25 minutes before the doors opened our good friend, (
Linda Lou's new boyfriend ) Alex shows up. He was happy and excited to be
with us and was given an extra special treat since the guy in line with
me seen me at many concerts he also seen Alex there and they had some
very enjoyable conversations times before. They had two opening acts
before MTB came on and we enjoyed them both tremendously. If you ever
been to the Starland Ballroom you would know there is virtually no
separation barrier between the stage and fans and security is not up
front blocking your view. Well 10 minutes before MTB came on we spotted
Chris Hicks on the side of the stage with guitar in hand talking and
joking with the sound man before he took to the stage. Showtime and
Marshall lit up the stage with their music of course, Chris and the
other lead guitarist Stuart Swamlund treated the fans to numerous stints
of their personified guitar talent throughout the entire evening as did
the other band members which consists of David Muse, Keyboardist
Saxophone and Flute player combined. Their recently acquired Bass
Player, Pat Elwood. Doug Gray the only original taking on the lead
singing roll and of course B.B. Borden the drummer. Towards the end I was
flashing my ( Guitar Pick Please Sign ) at Chris and he
acknowledged and nodded to me to the fact that he had seen my sign and
would relinquish his pick when the time was right. Doug shook Alex and
Laurie's hand but I guess he figured mine was dirty cause he didn't get
mine. I know he would have though if the opportunity presented itself
because the entire band are very nice personable people that just love
to interact with their fans. Towards the very end Chris Hicks walked
over and dropped his pick in my hat and a little later he even handed
Alex one. During the last song I handed Mrs. Hooty the Drumsticks Please
sign and says to her when they are getting close to the end of the song
make sure you get the drummers attention. He seen the sign but walked
off momentarily with the band. He was back on stage in a flash and Mrs.
Hooty hit him with the sign again and what happened next was beyond
reality. B.B. Borden of ex Outlaws and Molly Hatchet fame was starting to
disassemble his drums and comes walking directly over to her with a
cymbal in his hand. A couple of people tried to grab it but he pulled
back pointed to Laurie and said this is for her. A minute later he found
a sharpie and autographed it for her yet. Pinch me I think I am dreaming

January 2005

The New Year is upon us, some sayings that are related to it are out
with the old and in with the new. Resolutions are also a big part of the
New Year i think the biggest part though is a New Years Eve Bash.
Honorable mention goes to the traditional good luck dinner of the New
Year of Pork and Sauerkraut. I don't know who came up with that one but
it seems like an interesting subject to research. Well maybe about 20 or
so years ago I came up with a Resolution, that to this day has still not
been broken. I made a resolution that I would not make anymore
resolutions and to this day it still works perfectly. We did something
different for New Years Eve this year. Usually we go to a Veteran of
Foreign Wars to celebrate. The one we go to in New Jersey has a nice
affair starting with a Happy Hour of Hores Ovaries. They also have an all
night open bar. Once they bring out the trays of dinner food, either the
band starts warming up or the DJ is ready to swing into action. We
prefer the DJ because he can play all the Original Hits, even though
songs of Lynyrd Skynyrd or 38 Special are rarely played unless requested
or you even have to provide the DJ with a CD of Skynyrd of your own
personal collection. I remember one year Mrs. Hooty and a friend went
outside during this festive affair, even though I thought it a little
odd since she don't smoke and it was FREEZING COLD THAT NIGHT. I didn't
let it hold any space between the earballs. I just figured she went out
to bullshit with her buddy while her friend had a cigarette. Lo and
Behold a little later Sweet Home Alabama is being played by the DJ an
Mrs. Hootskevitch grabs me and rushes me out to the dance floor. My night
was complete and made sweet by that sneaky little wife of mine who went
out to the car and smuggled in a cassette to the DJ so he could play
S.H.A., since he didn't have any LS in his collection. Where do they get
these DJ's anyway, out of caves obviously, if they don't have any
Skynyrd. This year was different though, Miss Jane told us about a New
Years Eve bash her brother was having, we changed up for the better, we
were meeting friends like Johnnyfan and her hubby there, Miss Jane Van
Zant and Jimmie her brother, his lovely wife Z, Bobby from Jimmies band
is a blast to talk to. There were many different raffles during the night
and Miss Jane pulled out my number and I won me a nice Harley Davidson
long sleeve shirt which I can always use for work. It was just like
being at a family affair with the theme being Lynyrd Skynyrd. The food
was GREAT the opening act which according to Mrs. Hooty was an autistic
band, which I found out later was an acoustic man. Nite Shade was
terrific, they got us out on the dance floor numerous times. Than it was
time for the JIMMIE VAN ZANT BAND. they started playing that jungle type
music that Skynyrd plays before they take the stage, and the excitement
was growing, you could feel it in the air. They started with MCA and
finished with Freebird just like Skynyrd and played every song in
between by LS. We really did envy the people that went out to Lex. Ky.
to see Skynyrd and Montgomery Gentry on New Years Eve but to tell you
the truth Jimmie made us very happy that we were in Jersey cause from
the moment they started playing that jungle music, we stood the entire
concert, Was it worth going to this New Years Eve shindig hosted by
Jimmie Van Zant and hanging out with good people like Johnnyfan and her
hubby Eric, Miss Jane and her good friend Laurel well lets put it this
way if Jimmie was to do it next year again we would definitely be there
in a heartbeat. Happy New Year everybody here at DSJ cause All I can do
is write about it

 

December 2004

Good Morning, afternoon or evening dear reader. Or maybe even a night
owl or two. Its 2 in the afternoon here in Jersey and the weather here
goes like this. Oh the weather outside is frightful. Why can't the
weatherman ever be wrong when he or she says tomorrow it will be cold
and very windy with gusts up to 50 mph. Sometimes they call for snow
and it never happens or they don't call for it and than surprise,
something that will turn your morning or evening commute, into a
nightmare. But when they predict high winds like today , you can bet IT
WILL HAPPEN. Who in their right mind likes to go out in the cold with 50
mph winds making you feel like you are sunbathing on a beach in the
dread of winter in Siberia with no clothes on.. Anyway time to pull some
concert tickets out of the hat.
And the winner is Randy Travis with Patty Loveless as the opener for you
country fans at the Commerce Bank Ballpark in Sommerville New Jersey.
Way back in the third row for that one. That was on 9/29/01 Next we
have FRONT ROW for Linda Ronstadt n 7/2/02 which we left before the
concert was over because Linda did not perform her old hits like the
Stoned Pony one Beat of a Diffrent Drum. Some of her audience gasped
when she announced at the beginning of the concert that she would be
doing her new or current material which I guess is a cross between
Operatic and Classical. Not our cup of tea so we aborted the show early.
Next up, lets go to the photo book for a concert ticket. Guess what the
page flipped open to, Randy Travis at the Tropicana Casino in Atlantic
City on Sept 3, 2000 Thats our welding anniversary, ya now gettin
hitched, tying the knot or just plain get welded together for the rest
of your life. Funny thing happened at hat show. We were second row, Mrs.
Hooty caught Randy's eye and so he threw her a pic, hes deadly aim with
a guitar pic hit her directly in the chest but it bounced off her you
know whats and landed it the front row and someone else scoffed it up.
Well Laurie still held his attention let him know she didn't get the pic
so he hit her again dead center in the chest with another pic. It
bounced off them beautiful thingies on her chest ( I forget what you
call them ) landed on the floor about the same time I landed on the
floor and amongst the darkness feet, and legs I found it We held it up
so Randy knew we got the second one. One time we seen him twice in one
day at the Strawberry Festival in Plant City Fla. About a week long deal
where the performers will do 2 shows a day, one at 4:30 and the nightcap
at 7:30. Actually we went to Fla to see Skynyrd at Universal Studios a
year or two ago but thats when Gary took sick and shows were cancelled.
the Strawberry Festival is a GREAT deal because tickets are five, ten,
or 15 dollars depending on the act. From what I seen on their schedules
its mainly country acts, which we have no problem with. We also saw Miss
Tanya Tucker there the same week and she still sounds and performs like
she just burst on the scene at age sixteen. Well let me pull out a
Skynyrd concert ticket before I git. This here is a Lynyrd Skynyrd
Commerorative Concert Ticket dated 7/26/03 at the PNC Arts center in
Holmdel, New Jersey. On this ticket it has the Freebird with the
outstretched wings an the lettering Lynyrd Skynyrd 30 Years is in Gold
Embossed Script. Gotta go brave the cold and wind for a cigarette
outside so don't go nowhere cause I am not done yet babbling. Well the
only casualty outside is our Scarecrow got knocked down by the wind. I
won't pick him up cause he will only get blown down again. As I close
this writing I can still hear the wind whisteling thru the windows as I
prepare to go pick up the wife from work. I will have to dodge the
garbage cans, recycle buckets that are blown about in the road, and
maybe a downed tree or two. There will probably be one or two traffic
lights out also. I seen many a times all the recycle buckets blown in
the streets in our developement and blown also over into the neighboring
developements . I guess the people here listened to the weatherman this
time though and tied down everything outside though cause when I went
out to smoke the place looked good. Till the next time my friends stay
warm and cozy and Have a Very Merry Christmas. See ya'll next year.


 

November 2004

The Holidays are upon us
Starting out with the great one for the kids Halloween. It is so much
fun to see the Spooks, Witches, Goblins, and Ghosts come knocking at
your door for treats. Remember what fun it was for you as a kid going
out in the neighborhoods scouring for treats. Saturday and Sundays were
great days for Halloween because you had all day to Trick or Treat
compared to a weekday where you had to wait till school was over to don
your costumes. Ah the good ole days its nice to reflect upon them onced
in awhile. Next comes the Eating holiday Thanksgiving. The one with all
the Pilgrims and Indians, the Mayflower Ship and Captain John Smith and
Pocahontas type lore. Can't forget Turkey and all the trimmings along
with the Cornacopia. Its a great time to be with the family and being
Thankful for all the comforts and luxuries that we have in life. We also
are thankful for many things that protect us and keep us safe from harm
such as our Armed Forces and our police,fire, and rescue squads which
render invaluble life saving services while putting their own lives in
jeapordy to save complete strangers. They are realistically our unsung
HEROES. I am quite sure we have dozens of other reasons to be thankful
for such as our families, our friends, and jobs and of course living in
the greatest country in the world the good ole USA. To some
Thanksgiving is also a day of falling asleep while watching a football
game after the big meal. To end out the year with what I consider to be
the best Holiday of all, Christmas, especially for the kids. I remember
waking up on Christmas morn and running to see what Santa left under the
tree for me. It is a time for families to get together have a holiday
meal filled with holiday cheer and good will towards all. We would all
pack up on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day when we were kids mom and pop
would throw us in the car and off to one of the relatives house for the
meeting of the clans. The men would all be settin together drinking
their Holiday Cheer, usually all the woman would be in the kitchen
helping out preparing the Feast. The kids were all playing together with
their cousins whom they haven't seen in awhile till it was mealtime.
After the meal it was usually Christmas Carol time and sometimes our
Uncle would accompany our singing with his piano playing. Ah those were
the good ole days that's for sure, and sure some of us wil grump that we
will be spending a lot of money for Christmas this year, but I would
sell my soul in a heartbeat, give up all my Skynyrd CD's and DVD's to be
a kid again and revel in all these wonderful holidays again, wouldn't
you. Well maybe not give up all my Skynyrd stuff but I am quite sure you
get the picture. If you don't think that Christmas is drawing near, just
go in any department store and go to the Seasonal area and see all the
Christmas stuff on display already. Who doesn't love all those Christmas
Carol's playing in the stores in December. One of my Christmas wishes
every year is that we are sittin' home together Christmas Eve, have a
nice warm fire going in the fireplace listening to Christmas Carols and
drinking my favorite drink Eggnog. Than the snow starts falling right
into Christmas Day so that when we wake up everything is blanketed in a
beautiful Christmassy white. Yes I love the Holiday Season with all them
houses that are wonderfully decorated. It is best said in one of the
Christmas Carol's, ITS THE MOST WONDERFUL TIME OF THE YEAR

 

________________________________________________________________________________________

Rocktober 2004

LSS

Actually this features title is taken from an old lesser known Skynyrd
song of the same name. It is a slower ballad type song but with the same
IMPACT of GREAT Skynyrd writing and music combined to make a perfect
song. With that said and out of the way lets get down to business. This
months feature story was partly formulated in my head last night while
driving a forklift on my job between the hours of 11pm and 7am. It
basically went down like this. Oh sh-t what the heck am I gonna write
about this month. Well I been toying around with this theory for years
now so hear we go.
Lynyrd Skynyrd Sickness, that's right people you heard me right, lets
call it LSS for short. It seems that every Skynyrd concert I go to, I
always come back after it with a sore, very hoarse throat, can hardly
talk kind of laryngitis thingy. At first I thought it was from the Back
to the Swamp Tour a couple of years ago you know maybe from the fog
machine that made a nice creepy, eerie swamp feeling while the band was
playing. Well I had to rule out that theory because after that tour was
over and they put away the fog machine I still got my sore throats at
Skynyrd concerts. Well maybe its them red plastic drinking cups I see at
every Skynyrd concert that the band drinks out of, maybe they emit some
kind of chemical in the air that reacts with my throat to make it
hoarse. Well I remember I seen Ronnie Milsap in concert this year and
they had the same red plastic drinking cups and I didn't walk away
losing my voice at that gig. Rule out the red cups than. I wonder if the
center for Disease Control down in Atlanta has any info on LSS maybe I
should call them. I also thought that maybe sitting up front and very
close at the LS concerts had something to do with it, maybe I am
catching something that Johnnie or Gary or Ean or the rest of the band
has since I am in close proximity to them at almost every concert. In
closing I will honestly say this with a grin on my face from earball to
earball, I don't think its from the hollering and screaming I do at the
concert from when they walk out and breakout into Working for MCA till
the very end of Freebird. Heck I holler and scream at Mrs. Hooty
everyday of the week and twice on Sunday and I am still not hoarse from
that. Anyone out there with similar symptoms of LSS please let me know
so we can nip this thing in the bud before there is a major outbreak of
people with sore throats in this country. I sincerely hope this little
amusing tale has put a smile on your face and a LS song in your heart.
Till next month I wish you all front row, dead center seats to the next
Skynyrd concert you go to
Eddy K.....
aka-Hooty

_______________________________________________________________________________________

Sept. 2004

Concerts:
Ever have a funny thing happen to you while you were going to, or at,
or leaving, a concert. I am quite sure most of us in DSJ have been to a
couple of concerts in our travels and might even have an amusing story
or two to share. I know I do. Just to give you a little background on
your keyboard tapper I am a 49 year old ex-hippie who was ten years old
when the Beatles stormed the states. Soon other groups from Merry ole
England followed along with groups from the good ole US whose musicians
did not want to be outdone by the Limeys. Boy did music and style really
seem to change when the Fab Four landed. Its all the Beatles fault
people, they should have never let them in this country ha ha!!!!! Lets
blame it on the Beatles. Anyway gettin' back to the theme of funny things
happening at concerts, I remember one where me and some friends were
driving to Passaic New Jersey where at the Capitol Theater we were going
to see Jethro Tull. Back in the 70's everyone around my neck of the
woods was indulging in illegal things when they were going to concerts.
Lets face it the 70's were filled with Long Hair, anti establishment,
peace, love, farm out, gravy, and right arm ( or far out, groovy, and
right on ) but when you do a little mind expansion like i did words get
a little twisted. Well when we got close to the theater ( we never been
to this place before ) we found all the people in the area were very
friendly or so we thought. As we were driving down the street everyone
was waving to us, cars were honking their horns to us, and some were
even flashing their high beams on and off at us. Thank God we didn't see
a cop because we were driving down a one way street the WRONG way. Glad
we noticed the one way sign after going 3 blocks. Funny how when you are
blitzed out of your mind your mind perceives things a little different
than what they really are. Thank God them days are over because I know I
or this website would never endorse anyone to get blitzed, in fact we
would warn against it. Like Johnny says before they perform That Smell
in concert Been there, done that, and we ain't never going back. Next
stop the Rolling Stones concert. If you have a funny about a concert
screw-up, don't be bashful people, but please share it with DSJ. We all
enjoy a good story

Eddie K...

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